Friday Fiction – The Dragon Must Go

Meet Bob

A little something I wrote this week in a prompt group on FB. Enjoy!

“The dragon must go now!”

“But that’s discrimination! It says on that sign that you serve everyone, no matter what race, sex or species!”

“And we do, and we did! But we have no grog left. The dragon’s drunk it all. And it’s singing! It’s hurting our ears and making the paying customers leave and well, there is the matter of the fire breath!”

“What about the fire breath? You said you liked it before when it warmed up those hot toddies!”

“That was then and this is now. It’s clear that it’s going a bit far. Please take him outside before he burns the whole bar down.”

“OK then mate. Come on Bob! We’ll find another bar!”

Have a good weekend. And remember if you take your dragon out to your local pub make sure they drink responsibility.

Another Cup of Tea – Now on Preorder!

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Four years ago I published a little book of silliness called TEA AND DARK CHOCOLATE. It was a passion project that I created for my mother, who wasn’t so fond of some of the darker themes in my fiction. She adored it.

Sadly my mum passed away at the end of 2018 so when I put together this new collection I found little pockets of poignancy sneaking in among the silliness.

In any case I hope you all enjoy it. It is now up on presale on Amazon and will be available also on all other outlets and what better day to release a humorous collection but April Fools Day.

Preorder your copy today or if you’d like a sneak peak at the book join my ARC review team over at Story Origin.  

Also in honor of the presale TEA AND DARK CHOCOLATE is currently on sale for just 99 cents.

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Friday Fiction – A poem!

Doris

Happy Friday folks – here’s a silly little poem I wrote this week.

 

Oh toaster, how I love you so,

How your bread flies in the air.

It’s a shame I cannot eat it

But still, do not despair.

We can make it happen

Although I am devoid

Of any kind of stomach

Since I am just a droid.

 

Happy Weekend Folk!

 

#GargoyleTroubles

I recently traveled to London with my daughter and one Saturday night we went to a concert at O’Meara, a newish venue in a small street with a church directly opposite. As we stood in line I kept looking up at part of the stone wall surrounding the church and I swore I saw a carved face in it, though my daughter couldn’t see it.

Later in the evening I ducked out of the concert for a breather and sat in the corner of the bar drinking a cider and scribbled this little piece of flash fiction on a napkin.

#GargoyleTroubles

by Debbie Manber Kupfer

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Seamus O’Meara was a gargoyle now, and he hated every minute of it. Not that he had any choice. His dad had been a gargoyle as had his grandfather, great-grandfather and all his ancestors from back in the realms of history where the O’Mearas had begun.

They had started off of course as leprechauns, but had got cocky – and the fairy godfather thought he would take them down a notch, so gargoyles they became. One church after another until finally Seamus had ended up looking down at O’Meara Street.

But O’Meara had changed of late. No longer a quiet alleyway only known to the church goers, but rather a place of worship often desecrated by partygoers that frequented the venue that had sprung up across the street. Seamus had been sat on, spat at, climbed and pissed on – all in the interests of a congenial Saturday night.

He’d had enough. He gazed down at the revelers and plotted his revenge.

 

© Debbie Manber Kupfer, 2017

Tea & Dark Chocolate – Now available everywhere!

 

Happy Friday! Today we highlight my book of flash fiction, poetry, and general silliness that is now available everywhere and in every format (well not skywriting yet, but almost all formats.)

Check it out and check out my sparkly new page at Pronoun.

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“Charming, Quirky and Original”

Meet a cat called Cecilia, a disgruntled android named Doris, and a weasel called Popgoes and discover that with enough Tea and Dark Chocolate you can achieve anything.

A Collection of Flash Fiction and Poetry from the author of P.A.W.S.

Tea & Dark Chocolate is now available everywhere via Pronoun.

Pick up your copy at:

Book also available in paperback and audio.
And remember —

Scrambled! A Valentine’s Story

A little post-Valentines flash fiction – enjoy!

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“Mrs. Dumpty is just as klutzy as her husband. Why they can’t just stay off that wall it beats me.” The King sighed. He’d tried sending in his men and the horses again. Didn’t work though. One of these days he’d give up and just make a huge pan of scrambled egg.

But today wasn’t the day for that. Today was Valentine’s Day. So he’d call in Cupid.

“Can’t do it,” said Cupid. “Not my area.”

“Don’t care,” countered the King. “You owe me a favor. Remember that stray arrow last year?”

“Yeah, I remember. You’re never going to let me forget that, are you? I’ll see what I can do.”

“Cheers mate. If anyone can get the Dumptys back together I know it’s you.”

Cupid flew down the wall. The Dumptys lay on the floor groaning. It looked bad, real bad. He worked for three hours straight but in the end had to call the King back.

“I’m sorry your majesty.” He sighed. “Even I couldn’t bring them back together.”

 

Want to read more stories like this one?

Pick up a copy of Tea & Dark Chocolate today – only 99cents/99p on Kindle

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A Spot of Tea & Dark Chocolate

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It’s nearly November – a good time for a warm beverage and a sweet treat. How about a kindle copy of Tea & Dark Chocolate for just 99 cents?

What the critics say:

“Really enjoyable book. Inspiring, amusing and just a lovely read. Thank you to a fellow tea and dark chocolate lover :)” Jenny

“If you are looking for an excellent collection of short stories to occupy your mind you’ve found it with this book. This a nice variety of fiction to savor during the few quiet moments you steal.” Tammy

Go on spoil yourself! Or for a real treat pick up the audio book narrated by the awesome actress Fiona Thraille.

DMK

Friday Fiction – Code Name Whiskers

Fluffy

Eight days out – I have successfully infiltrated the human’s living quarters and have made a discovery. The humans come and go, and yet I am forbidden to leave. I can smell the outside through the crack of fresh air in the open window.

I can smell freedom . . .

The humans put me in a cage yesterday. I yowled, but they did nothing. They transported me to some sort of medical facility. There I saw a strange furry black creature with long stretched-out ears. I made contact. I believe that with ears of that length she would make a perfect spy for our organization.

It is obvious to me now that the humans are jealous of our greater intelligence. This is why they have imprisoned us. The one they call Fluffy has been restless of late. He is careless in the toilet facility and I have had to finish his work.

The food here is minimal as you would expect from a maximum security facility. Our human guards’ food is tantalizing. Fluffy begs for scraps. I will not bow that low. Instead I wait until the humans are sleeping and see what I can scavenge. The large receptacle in the humans’ eating quarters often holds some tantalizing morsels and it pleases me to watch the humans clean up the results of my night-time raids. They glare at me as they clean, but they cannot be sure it is not Fluffy’s work and I continue grooming my fur as I watch and learn.

This is Whiskers signing out – I believe it is time for my nap.

Say Hello to Henry Herz

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Today of Paws4Thought we welcome picture book author Henry Herz. Henry earned an engineering BS from Cornell University, an engineering MS from George Washington University, and a political science MA from Georgetown University – none of which help him write picture books. Aided by his two sons, Henry authored the picture books MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES and WHEN YOU GIVE AN IMP A PENNY. He’s a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators, and the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America. Henry hosts a blog on KidLit, fantasy, and science fiction at http://www.henryherz.com.

When did you first start writing, Henry?

I self-published my first children’s book in 2011, and have been writing ever since.

What was your favorite book as a child?

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE by Maurice Sendak. “We’ll eat you up, we love you so!” (Love that one too – it was a staple in my house when my kids were small. DMK)

Tell us a bit about your new release, When You Give an Imp a Penny.

Before you lend an imp a penny, there’s something you should know—such a simple act of generosity could set off a side-splitting chain of events! A colorful picture book full of mythology, mischief, and magic, WHEN YOU GIVE AN IMP A PENNY shows us just what happens when an accident-prone—but well-intentioned—imp comes along asking for favors! The same writer/illustrator duo that brought you MONSTER GOOSE NURSERY RHYMES brings to life a comedy of fabled proportions.

From tracking mud on the floor to setting the broom on fire, this clumsy little imp causes accidents wherever he goes, but he’s determined make things right again. The only thing it will cost his host is a little patience—and maybe a bit of time cleaning up some messes! It won’t be long before this troublemaker has won over the entire family (except for the cat) with his irrepressible charm.

What attracts you to writing for children?

Fantasy is my favorite genre, so I like the idea of hooking kids on fantasy, the way I got hooked by WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE and LORD OF THE RINGS. I feel like my picture books can serve as a the gateway as kids mature to the fabulous fantasy novels written by Tolkien, Lewis, Riordan, Zelazny, Hearne, Sanderson, Martin, Pratchett, Hobb, Stiefvater, Caine, Novik, and many others.

So what’s next? What are you currently working on?

After WHEN YOU GIVE AN IMP A PENNY, I have three more picture books scheduled for publication. LITTLE RED CUTTLEFISH (Pelican, 2016) is an aquatic retelling of LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, but with a sassy cephalopod protagonist. MABEL & THE QUEEN OF DREAMS (Schiffer, 2016) is a bedtime picture book inspired by Mercutio’s soliloquy in Romeo and Juliet. Little Mabel was an expert at not going to sleep. But Mom had the Queen of Dreams in her quiver of bedtime tales. The Queen paints children’s dreams, so she only visits when their eyes are closed. DINOSAUR PIRATES (Sterling, 2017) is a comical mashup of two kid favorites. A T-rex with a piratey patois!? Cap’n Rex leads his dinosaur pirates in search of booty. As they encounter obstacles in their quest, the apex predator “encourages” his crew to think outside the box. When the treasure is found, Cap’n Rex wants to keep it for himself, but the clever crew turns the tables on him.

I’m always writing and submitting new picture books. I have high hopes for NEVER FEED A YETI SPAGHETTI and for a story with a dung beetle protagonist. (That sounds like a whole heap of fun! DMK)

What do you like to do to relax?

What does “relax” mean? Seriously, I like hanging out with friends and reading… fantasy! For turning off the brain, nothing works better than watching TV. Working in the yard is also very relaxing and gratifying.

I’m thrilled to be moderating a children’s literature panel at WonderCon in Los Angeles on March 26. The panelists will be award-winning authors and illustrators Bruce Hale (CLARK THE SHARK), Jon Klassen (THIS IS NOT MY HAT), Laura Numeroff (IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE), and Dan Santat (THE ADVENTURES OF BEEKLE: THE UNIMAGINARY FRIEND), and Antoinette Portis (WAIT).

If you could choose a superpower what would you choose?

Mystique from X-Men can mimic the apperance, voice, and abilities of humans and animals. So, that’s like multiple superpowers (flying, sonar, breathing underwater, night vision, camouflage, regrow severed limbs, etc.) for the price of one!

Ninjas or Pirates?

That is not a black and white choice. What about Ninja Pirates!? Ooh, that’s a good picture book idea…

How can readers and parents connect with you?

Blog: http://www.henryherz.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/henry.herz/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Nimpentoad

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Pick up your copy today!